the reality

In studies, I have always been left alone in these three years, especially when the deadlines are near and when the assignments are piling up.They are just good and funny when we were telling jokes and gossiping but when come to studies,,, I asked a question today, I just want to clear my doubts before the presentation. Perhaps it might seemed like a stupid question or a simple question to the others, but I just can't figure it out. Well, my friend answered me with the sacrastic and cynical look. Feeling humiliated and wounded, I put on a smile and humbly say, "thank you". But it has cut deep deep down into my heart. Tears is rolling and my heart bleeds till now.

How many sacrasm do I have to take before my graduation? Tell me. I don't allow myself to have an excuse for all these, but my poor background of physics and mathematics has really taken a toll on me.Chemical enginnering has so much to do with pyhsics common sense. Yet my brain are born to memorise facts like the biology subjects. I really don't meant to ask questions if not because I'm left with no choice. No matter how long I starred at the book, my mind is still block. Not until when someone pointed out to me, where I can understand them in 10 minutes compared to the long hours I spent on the book. Enginnering is not about memorising, it's about understanding.

My dear friends, only 10 mins you have to explain to me, and you could save my whole day. Don't you guys feel happy too? I swear, if I were to study pharmacy/ chemistry/biology now and is doing good, I will definitely help the others like what I always did in the English class. I am only excelling in the English class now. Seeing people that you encouraged and motivated presenting confidently in front is blissful. I just love that kind of feeling. I just love to see how people improve, especially when you are the one who motivates them along the way.

I don't know, maybe people just like to make you feel dumb and stupid.

but I will never bow down to them!! You may be good in studies but that doesn't guarantee your sucess in the future; doesn't guaratee your personalities and knowledge. Look at how the communication skills ewwww!!Look! There're 80 people in the class, I'm sure I can find the good Samaritans out.

Having had spent 5 semesters, I am sure I can pass the last 3 semesters too! I just hope that my final year project will be smoth-sailing, that I know how to draw a decent PFD and calculate the mass and energy balance. With that, I knew I gotta coat my face with thick powder again ;to be more thick face to ask them to teach me. All hails to my ignorant and my lack of interest in the first year.

But this time, I will know who to ask.Dump those who put you down and get close to people who encourages you.

As for you, I already made my mind to treat you as an ordinary. So whatever your actions and deeds, it should have no influence on my feelings. I shouldn't even let the green feelings pour out at the first place simply because you're just not mine. Thinking-wise, mentality, background, ways to ovecome problems etc. I don't mind chatting or doing things with you but no means no.