Again, I think he is nuisance.

Irrationality kills. By muttering hurtful words and sometimes violence. Showing signs of remorse or signs that try to mend the situation after that doesn't help to mend the wound at all. Not at all! What has been done, is already been; done. Very hurtful; sliced deep down into the heart. Lots of unhappy incidents will flash through thereafter.

I am always the one who get the most scoldings, even when having happy and fun conversations with my siblings. When we were happily chatting ; picturing things or imagining, suddenly I will get scoldings like ; "Can't you just shut your mouth? Your voice is damnn irratating! " Why? I thought 4 of us of are talking at the same time, why only my voice causes so much hatred then?

When confronted once, he will only say I treated everyone equally. I don't think so. Maybe he just doesn't like me subconsciously. Maybe he has way of showing love which we don't know. Anyhow, I got consumed by the scoldings more than the act of love.Time over time, I didn't really voice out my opinions much, just tell some when he is in good mood. It's better that way. The mood swings. I have to admit the fact that if I continue to think negatively like that, I will be someone who has very low self-esteem. I always have to fight this kind of situation, telling myself, it's ok, I still have people who respect and listen to my opinions and so. The world is big.

Even she get some unreasonable accusations; Maybe people who thinks that they are great and almighty will never admit their mistakes, thinks that the world is at fault except them. Order people even for some simple tasks. She has been understanding, or maybe numb?

I don't know. Having said all these, I knew that we will not meet again or so in the next life, I will still treasure the relationship God brought to us, there must be reasons behind they put us together in a family.

Anyhow, I am really glad that they brought the most funky people to me in the world : my brothers and sister! Yes, we will always quarrel; no doubt! ; sometimes over small matter or so; but nothing lasts more than a day. I just don't know why, after some time, we will get close. It's better than bottling up all your feelings by showing the good side of you. We will just shout at each other if we offend each other but after a while, we're sharing jokes again.

Man! I need someone who is patient to be my partner. If he is not patient, no point quarreling non-stop after the marriage, divorce is the only solutions then. I treat people like how I got treated. If you show me some act of generosity, patience; I will reciprocate a million. Else, vice versa. Bowing down to unreasonable accusations is pathetic. Poeple will only spread the love and joy if they feel so.

Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year.